Online Dating Advice for the Recently Divorced

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There are the lucky few whose divorces are completely amicable and the ex-couple remains great friends, realizing they were just no longer a good match for each other. But, most people who have gone through a divorce will tell you it was one of the most, if not the most, emotionally devastating experience of their lives. Your whole future gets upended, and there is bitterness, sadness and sometimes downright hate. Most people are interested in finding another relationship eventually, but the idea of dating again after this emotional pummeling may fill you with a sense of dread.

Once you are ready to get back in the game, online dating may be a good option to consider. It allows you to meet a variety of people from the comfort of your own home, and test the dating waters you have not swam in possibly decades. Here are some online dating tips for the recently divorced that can help you get the most out of the experience.

Do Not Jump Right into Meeting People

You may be feeling lonely and longing for the companionship you became accustomed to in your marriage. There may be a temptation to get right to face-to-face meetings to get the ball rolling. But, you are in a precarious position right now, and it is not a good idea to rush into meeting someone right away. Give it a bit of time to get an idea if this person may be a worthwhile prospect. Many dating site give you the opportunity to talk to other people on the site. If you are older and still a bit gun shy about dating again, there are many over 50 chat rooms that can ease you back into a world you have may not been a part of since your 20s or 30s.

….But Don’t Wait Too Long

Yes, this second piece of advice may seem completely contradictory to the first. But, while it is a good idea to get to know the person through some cyberspace communication for a bit, waiting too long to meet the person may result in crushing disappointment and wasted time. There is only so much you can discern about a person from online communication and it is easy to let fantasy, expectations and projections fill in the blanks. You do not want to spend weeks or months on end communicating with someone online, convinced they are the one for you, only to find you have absolutely no chemistry in person. When dating after divorce, it is important to do all you can to keep emotions measured and expectations realistic. Not building up a person in your head to the status of a god when you have never even seen him, will help you achieve that.

Keep a Dating Mindset, Not a Spouse-Seeking Mindset

Many people who divorce end up remarrying; nothing wrong with wanting to find another husband or wife. There is no reason to think you could not find a better match and have a more successful marriage. But, when you jump into online dating, do your best to approach it with a dating mindset, not one of seeking your next husband. Try to have fun just dating. Going through a divorce can offer up a great deal of clarity about the type of person and relationship that is good for you and bad for you. Use this knowledge to guide which people you decide to communicate with, but at the same time, be open to different types of people. Barring any significant deal breaker that you know you cannot get around, date a variety of people.

About the Author: Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who enjoys blogging about all things love and relationships.

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